Labour of Love

 When you are pregnant you think about the baby, and imagine what he or she will look like, etc. There is a crucial threshold in between pregnancy and motherhood and that is labour. What would you like your labour to look like? Where would you like your labour to take place? Birth facilities vary quite a bit from one hospital to the next, so it is worth checking out all your possibilities.
   I felt strongly that I wanted a homebirth. I was considered low risk, by my doctor, who would not recommend homebirth to me as it was not legal in Canada at that time. Nevertheless, I did my own research and found a midwife with a proven track record with whom I felt very comfortable.
   My midwife gave me a list of things to gather for the big day, very practical and helpful items.
Beyond these are those things which make your birth your own, things that make you comfortable, for instance music can provide a relaxing background noise. Baths were a big part of my labour, and as always, I recommend a few drops of lavendar essential oil in there, or chamomile, or rose, something mild that you love. Something else that is important in preparation for the big day is your perineum. I don't know about doctors but I do know midwives will suggest you oil and yes, stretch your perineum manually, in preparation for the big push. Whichever is less awkward for you, either yourself or have your partner help. Apply a good quality cold pressed oil such as almond or walnut oil, massage and stretch gently. Do this often in your third trimester, and it will help you have less tears/stitches.
   When I was almost 9 months pregnant, I prepared a dessert that had ground almonds in it. I used an electric grinder that had garlic residue, that dessert did not taste very good. I didn't sleep well, had indigestion and frequent trips to the washroom. By the next morning my contractions were 5 minutes apart. My lovely midwife and her assistant came and checked on me, things were slow to happen that day, I walked around the yard, drank juice, and was having a bath around 6pm when I saw a little mucous plug in the bathwater. I had the feeling "I can't do this!", very normal, and actually called transition. An hour and a half later, my daughter was born. I was tired, so mostly wanted to labour on my back, which puts more pressure on the perineum,  I did have a little tear when she was born, so had a stitch that time. I used balm of gilead salve on that and it healed up nicely, although I had to squirt water on myrself to take away the sting of urination, for a few days.
   My daughter was only 5 1/2lbs when she was born. A half pound lighter and she would have been had to go to the hospital, so I was lucky in that we got to settle in for the night, in lovely fresh sheets, with a carrot/beet juice. We stared at each other for hours, me crying in wonder and relief, she alert and looking right into my soul.
  I think she and I were quite tired that first night, as I did not manage to nurse her until the next day. I was a bit worried and not terribly confident that my little breasts were up to it. My own mother was no help as doctors told women not to bother, and almost no one that I know of my generation was breastfed.  I gave her a little bit of purified water in a dropper that morning, but once the midwife came to check on us, she got us going just fine. I am proud to say I nursed 3 babies with these A cups! My darling seemed to nurse constantly, she had doubled her weight by six weeks. I carried her everywhere in a sling, which is so handy for nursing.
   One real fact, labour is . . . uncomfortable, I would call it. You are restless, nervous, possibly nauseous, probably sweaty. Clothes are uncomfortable, sitting too. Laying on your side can be nice, with a quiet, respectful, obedient partner gently massaging your back or feet. Herbal teas, chamomile, raspberry, oatstraw, or a light soup or salad, is all that is needed, if you can keep it down. The body tends to purge itself at both ends. Which is good, other wise when the baby is coming out, something else can come out too! That's why they give you an enema at the hospital. Pain is a part of it, at the very end when you feel like you are having the worlds biggest bowel movement.Probably around the last 5 - 15 minutes when the babys head is crowning, is the most uncomfortable time, but also the most encouraging. When you hear, "I can see the head !", you are so close. At that point you are riding the waves of contractions, and when the next one comes, you go with it an bear down for all you are worth. Once the head and shoulders are out, the rest of the baby slips out too. The placenta slips out easily, being upright helps. Graphic details aside, I found visualization helpful. Your vagina needs to open up 6 - 8 centimetres. Imagine a flower unfolding, a lotus opening, so that it's beautiful centre is revealed. The power of the universe is coming through you, directly through the centre of you, a channel of light through which your child will enter this world.
   My second labour fit the common pattern, it was half as long as my first. I went to bed feeling tummyish, by midnight I gave up on sleeping and called the midwife. I walked around the house, had a bath, sipped some herb tea. My son was born at 5 am, the easiest of labours. I had been more relaxed during that pregnancy than my first. I was in a stable relationship, lots of friends and support around me, it was summertime. I did lots of yoga, including the headstand, until a couple weeks before birth. I gained a little more weight and baby no.2 was 6 1/2lbs, and smiled on his first day (I have the photos to prove it!).
   With my third labour, there were several different factors involved that affected the event. I think I wanted to get it over with, I was feeling large and not in charge. I had more false labour cramps that would come and go for several weeks before the actual labour began . . . slowly. I had a long day of mellow contractions, I thought it was picking up and the baby would be born that night. My midwife had someone else who was due around the same time. Her baby (her first) was overdue, and mine was coming a little early. She lived on a little island a short boat ride away. Yes, she went into labour that night. With the midwives out of reach, my labour stalled. I spent an uncomfortable night, back and forth to the bathroom. By nine the next morning, the midwives were back at my house, and my second son was born just after ten. An ambulance waited outside the house as my son had spent so long in the birth canal that he was rather blue. He pinked up nicely,a fine healthy 7 1/2 lbs, and we didn't have to go anywhere. We were already there.
  

A Pregnant Pause

When I first became pregnant, I had been having baby dreams for a couple years. Dreams where a small face looked up at me, nestled in my arms among the usual swirl of houses, people and hidden treasures. A feeling of tender calm would accompany these dreams, a knowingness, if that's a word.
   I was 26 when this happened. While I was ready physically, in other ways, less so. I had a lot of fun in the years before, travelling in a van across much of Canada and the United States. Living close to nature with an active lifestyle, eating and growing delicious food. I learned about the medicines that are all around us. I made things by hand, traded and sold them at markets and fairs. What I did not have was a steady income, a house, a supportive family or partner. I was briefly married to the father of my child, and that breakup was a stressfest.
   I seemed to be constantly nauseous during the entire pregnancy. I supplemented with B vitamins and drank ginger tea. I had to avoid all crucifers (cauliflower, cabbage, broccoli), my already sensitive digestion was on high alert. Apparently for some people, pregnancy hormones are something their body reacts against like a toxin. I was a slim, small breasted, boyish type physically, but had always eaten whatever I wanted, and had been into health since my teens. I know everyone is different in this aspect and you might not experience pregnancy the same as your mother, sister, etc. I know the stress I was under didn't help. I also experienced an itchy tummy rash that I didn't have with my other two pregnancies.
   Drinking warm goats milk was my favourite way to start the day. I was lucky to have a source for raw organic milk from a friend nearby. I would also drink  it mixed with super nutritious carob powder. I drank carrot juice on a daily basis, and had been for some years before. I mention this as when you are pregnant is not the time to radically change your diet. Any cleansing is best left until after the child is weaned. By all means cut out cigarettes and alcohol, perhaps introduce fresh juice if you wish, but take it slow and even diluted with water can make it more gentle on you at a time when your digestion may not be as strong. One thing worth adding to your diet is flax or hemp oil, it can be substituted for other oils in a salad dressing, added to smoothies, or substituted for butter, etc. on toast, for example. These highly beneficial oils should not be heated. I have used flax oil for over 20 years, hemp oil has become widely available more recently, and has an ideal ratio of omega oils for the human body. I mention these oils because it is to themI attribute my total lack of stretch marks. Of course I  moisturized my belly on the outside as well, but with our brains comprised of sixty percent, it makes sense to provide our bodies with the highest quality oils we can, especially when we are building an entire other body within.
   Going beyond food, other important elements of my pregnancies were of course, regular gentle exercise (I favour long walks, and also yoga) and baths with essential oils (lavendar, chamomile, neroli), avoiding stress, and nesting. Babies grow so rapidly that they don't wear things out, it is possible to get almost everything secondhand, one can save so much money that way. Having as much as possible in order before hand goes a long way towards settling mothers' nerves. I also made a sort of empowerment poster for myself. I collected different images representing god/goddess, community, the earth, I found meditating on, or holding some of these images in my mind, relaxing and strengthening